So in breathing new life into this old blog - I am delighted and humbled to announce the blessing of a new little life which has been breathed into our lives!
Yesterday was our 12 week scan!
Seeing all those images on the monitor showing our precious little one waving their newly formed arms and legs, wriggling and turning, a heart with four chambers, little feet, tiny itty bitty kidneys, a bladder and a brain - Oh it sure slaps you with a solid reminder of the miracle of life and Boom it goes straight into your heart!
So Very Loved! As the sonographer was taking baby's measurements we learned that from ear to ear is 2.5cm, head circumference is 7.5 cm; as she spoke my fingers I were spacing those dimensions and I was in total awe as I looked at all the features we could see; such a teeny tiny little person is in there, waving arms and legs, and oooh gosh those itty-bitty little feet!!
There is still 6 months to wait till I can kiss those little toes...but oh isn't life just a miracle? 12 weeks in and already waving at us!
Excuse my pregnant mind, I'm perhaps just a bit overwhelmed with Joy!
Recent weeks has seen me experiencing long forgotten utter exhaustion, and constant icky "bluuurgh-ing"!
5 years ago we weren't so lucky, two weeks of quiet celebration ended and I was mourning what might have been for at least six months afterwards! So it has been with cautious optimism that I have made it to 12 weeks!
It was such a relief seeing that it's not all "in my head",and there on the monitor with the evidence of this, was our little soul waving back showing us! It's all really really real!
Seeing Mr VintageNobilityso excited with happy tears as he held my hand and watched the monitor made me fall in love with him all over again; it was one of life's most perfect moments!
When I step back to look at the last few weeks we have to go back to just before my 40th birthday!
As my birthday approached I was panicking like this:
(substitute the word Indicted --> to Forty!)
However a week before my 40th, Grandma had once again broken her hip and things were not looking good.
On the day I turned 40 all I wanted to do was visit her in the hospital and say prayers and hold her hand. Mr VintageNobility came with me and at one point as he reached to hold her hand she pulled her arm away and waggled her finger at him! We laughed, because that was soooo grandma!!
When grandma passed away we were relieved she was no longer suffering, we were sad, but we were happy that she could now be free and take flight to be with grandpa.
Grandma's funeral preparations saw me completely forget about my anxiety about the number 40. I wrote my tribute in a matter of minutes, and it was as if the words flowed through my pen!
We celebrated her life with a beautiful funeral, the service held in an old blue-stone church in the countryside, the same church where my parents were married, it was built in 1859! After the service my cousins and I carried her coffin out to the car, and silently held hands as we followed it out across the road and into the cemetery, up the hill to her final resting place with Grandpa!
So it wasn't until a week later that I suddenly started to wonder about things and scrolled through the calendar counting my fingers and thinking and wondering... So I took the test!
It took a few weeks to actually believe what those two pink lines actually meant.
Then I tried to pretend that it wasn't real, because I was worried to allow myself to feel that excitement again; and I almost anticipated the worst possible scenario, as if by doing so I would not be quite so devastated if something happened again: like it did 5 years ago!
Now here we are at 12 weeks and I feel so relieved and blessed and grateful! I have said so many prayers and whispered so much love to this sweet little surprise soul, and every morning as I stumble towards the bathroom, I smile at that photo of my grandma and ask her to help watch out for us!
